Thursday, July 06, 2006

The Hideous Champions

The winner of the hideous face contest is the "gentleman" on the left side of this picture. Apparently the BC medical system has decayed to the point where even a member of the "got balls" gang can practice medicine out on Vancouver Island. That's as far as I'll go in revealing his identity, so you won't fear for your life if you ever meet him in an emergency room (although I hear he wears this toque at the hospital, so fearing for your life is probably unavoidable). The winner was chosen not just because of the hideousness of his facial expression, but because of the appropriateness of the prize.

In one of their frequent gangsta moments (see picture to the left), Emily and Kaylee suggested that the prize for this contest should be a "funky durag." (Should a father be worried when his 2 year olds walk around saying things like, "step-off sister" and "what's up baaaaby?") Our friend the "got balls" boy definitely needs an upgrade to a "funky durag" if he's going to tear up the streets and earn some 'spect.

Life is unfair and so are my contests. If the contest was judged on merit alone, the young woman below would have won. As it stands, she'll only have the comfort of knowing she was a just a durag's width away from winning. She too will remain anonymous, so as to not jeopardize her work as an undercover cop hunting down the "got balls" gang.

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