Pirates and Patriots for Jesus?!

I'm starting to wonder if AmeriChristianity is some narcotic-induced, collective consciousness trip. It can't be real. This is amazingly, insanely disturbing-funny-weird:

Witness Uncle-Sam-For-Jesus pay tribute to his deceased pal Captian-Hook-For-Jesus. Cuz you know, between raping, pilaging and murdering, everyone knows pirates had revival meetings:


When I think of the mystical man who claimed to be God, living amid the poor, confounding the religious elite, the first metaphor that comes to mind is "That's just like pirates! And nationalist, military-recruitment personalities!

If you're strong (or crazy) enough to press through to the middle of this seemingly endless clip, you might hear reference to the "confession canon (please, don't blow my head off - I'll convert!) and "believing bear" (Oh, the sweet, sweet joy of being mauled by a wild animal with Jesus in his heart).

PS: The horrific content above is all ripped from http://baikinange.blogspot.com/2009/03/pirates-for-jesus.html - credit is due for the intrepid bad-music hunting done on this blog.