Saturday, April 05, 2008

How to Fix a Hole in the Chest with a Stoner Story

I've been busy. And stressed. STRESSED. Rationally, I know everything is Ok & will eventually become even more Ok. But for the past couple of months, due to a confluence of time, money and life-force-consuming difficulties on the personal, financial, business and professional fronts, I have ended up in a perpetual state of stress.

I have two very simple diagnostics that usually tell me I'm near my top-stress level:

1. I feel an "absence" in the middle of my chest. An uncomfortable hollowness in the centre of my physical being. It ebbs and flows a bit ... but never fully leaves me. Last week it was omnipresent. This week it's just popped up intermittently.

2. I don't blog when I'm stressed. I blog when I have time. I even blog a little when I'm busy. But when I'm busy and stressed I simply don't blog (as evidenced by the two month gap in entries in this blog). Stress sucks up creative resources, personal reflections and other layers of being that add to life's abundance. These layers are the things that inspire me to blog, and they get sucked dry by stress.

And yet, here I sit, chest-hole free and blogging my fingers raw. What gives? My little bro and his fiance gave: In this case they gave Stacey and I 20 hours of baby-sitting and a night in Canmore. Phewwww, Awwwwww, Yehawww etc.

And so, with four hours left in this day away, I leave you with two insights that have been meaningful stress-relievers to me:

1. When everything is laid bare, I realize that my stress is largely over "stuff." And "stuff" shouldn't be my concern. God provides enough "stuff" to live and care for my family. My personal status as provider is over-inflated and illusionary (See Jesus' take on birds and lilies and numb-skulls like me).

2. I honestly believe the gratitude, peace and hilarity of the following substance-induced story is possible even after the ganja's been swapped for a moment of solitary-confinement with the divine: Thankful Craigslist Pizza Stoner.

I think I'll buy my three girls flowers and order pizza tonight.

* Lego image from my friend Avi's wonder-filled blog Dark Roasted Blend.

1 comment:

Nicole said...

I read the "substance-induced story." I laughed.

So glad you guys got to get away!!

Please, eat some pizza for me. Gawd I miss pizza!